The following sign exists on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, the children’s home in Calcutta:
ANYWAY
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered
LOVE THEM ANYWAY
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives
DO GOOD ANYWAY
If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies
SUCCEED ANYWAY
The good you do will be forgotten tomorrow
DO GOOD ANYWAY
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable
BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY
What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight
BUILD ANYWAY
People really need help, but may attack you if you help them
HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY
Give the world the best you have, and you’ll get kicked in the teeth
GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU’VE GOT ANYWAY
This is the stuff of inspiration, to hang on your office wall and look at it every day, especially on those days which are difficult, particularly on those days we are unappreciated. It is the stuff which is chosen for sermons and motivational speakers. It is the Sister Teresa creed, which we value as a touchstone for the best morals of our society, a goal which we should all emulate. We find it to be a source of comfort as well as a source of inspiration. If we all behaved this way, we think, then we would have a loving and stable society, in which the morals of our religions would finally be achieved. If we keep trying long enough, we will achieve this goal of selfless devotion to the needs of even the most thankless and dispossessed members of our society. Our religions teach us these things. One of the cornerstones of Judaism is that, since their God is totally good, each true believer must emulate their God by taking care of the poor, the sick and the hungry. Christianity preaches that “in as much as ye have done it for the least of these, my bretheren, ye have done it for me.” One of the five pillars of Islam is that its believers must give alms, must take care of the widow, orphan, lame, and traveler. Our most astute and passionate ethicists throughout history have stressed that if those who have more do not have compassion for those who have less, the entire fabric of that society collapses.
We suspect that these sentiments are exactly correct. We know from our personal lives that there have been multiple times that, if we had not gotten help from someone else with resources we did not have, we would have gotten nowhere with our lives. We remain, all of our lives, deeply grateful for the sacrifices of our parents to give us more in our lives than they had in their lives. We see the seething instability of societies in which there are castes of poor and rich. We know the joy it brings to extend ourselves to someone else in need, and understand that without our help, they would have suffered greatly. We are deeply appreciative of our civil liberties, which give us equal opportunity for pursuit of personal fulfillment, regardless of station, race or creed. We understand that many times, our best efforts will not succeed, but that if we wish to succeed, we will have to continue our efforts. We understand that our most sincere and altruistic efforts will be seen by some as opportunistic and deceitful. We understand that we all have different beliefs, different goals, and that there will be conflicts in life. We also understand, at least from time to time, that we are all in this together, and that unless we work together, we will fall together.
Were that we would or could all be so perfect. We are not. To be human is to be imperfect. That means each of us carries the seeds of jealousy, anger, greed, callosity and violence, and we see them expressed in varying degrees throughout our lives. Some humans are vile, expressing these evil traits fully throughout their lives. They assume positions of power, subjecting all those under their control to immense suffering and pain. Unless they are resisted with equal power, they continue that depraved behavior. For that reason, we are aware that, although we agree with expressing compassion throughout our lives, there is a limit to being totally loving and giving. The question is, what is that limit? Should we always turn the other cheek? If not, when do we resist, fight back, or pull away?
The answers may be relatively simple. For those who accept our gifts of time and effort thankfully and graciously, we continue to give. For those who show anger and resentment when we offer help, give them a second chance, but now with clearly understood conditions attached. If in spite of that second chance, they continue to be resentful and hateful, offer no more. It’s called tough love. They will not learn better behavior unless they are forced to do so. And most important, for those who show violent intent toward your life, protect yourself. You will be no good to anyone if you are dead. It is a threatening world. There is always someone out there who is willing to take our lives and our possessions, without remorse.
We must stress the expression of compassion in our lives. We also have to stress the sanctity of life. Yes, we must always be altruistic, and give the world the best we’ve got. Yet there are limits. If we do not defend ourselves, we will be killed, anyway, and will never do anything good for anyone.